It’s crazy because even though evil things happened I was always so positive in a way even though I am dark. I used to always want to see the good in people.
More and more though as everythings unveiled I have been forced to really really REALLY see how evil people can be.
I had hoped my ex would realize and just co parent respectfully with me. Instead when I left him with everything he bleached my clothes, ruined my classes, lied and slandered about me to our Daughter and everyone he could all while messaging me disgustingly etc and plotting with my mom to keep my Daughter away from me. Not telling anyone about what he had done.
Because of the way my mom is, I never ever wanted to talk bad about him in hopes he would see that I was not bad and he would be thankful etc.
I actually have barely started talking about it all more openly because my Little Sister & Daughter are older now. Still Babies in my eyes but with all they have gone through and are going through it was time to tell them a bit more.
It was hard for me to bring up to them in person. I was surprised when they said it first.
“My dad is such a bitch.” My Daughter said.
“Yeah he is.” My little Sister said.
“Jeff’s a bitch?” – I asked.
“Yeah he was afraid of a fly.” – My Daughter said.
“& he uses big words to pretend he’s smart.” They both were saying.
“Well you both are right ! Because no one can consider themselves good or a man by grooming and having sex with an underage girl and marry her a few days after she turned 18 and had her work to pay for everything including his video game addiction and force him to go to college and have to walk him to and from college otherwise he would cry and wouldn’t go and then I was the one to change every diaper, potty train, clean the house , walk to and from work, etc then beat me and bleach my clothes etc when I left even though I left him and paid his way awhile. Then sided with my mom and moved in with her and still beat me and refuse to sign divorce papers and literally just be a disgusting person overall and try to get with both my sisters including my underage Sister.” – I said pretty much.
I was surprised when my Daughter had said she asked jeff if he is a ped0
& he said
“Yes”
It’s hard for me to talk about but I would wake up feeling weird sometimes with him and even so tired couldn’t move but felt someone touching me.
I realize now it was him.
I would find clothes of mine with sexual fluids on them hidden around.
I was so shocked and upset when I found them but at the time I had never yelled, only asked him about it and he said it was an accident.
I should have known but I am quite ignorant to sex.
The pedos in my family: My mom, uncles etc all watch a lot of porn and would leave it on.
The pedo would leave porn magazines around and play it on tv.
I realize now thinking back that soooo many Children were watching porn.
In elementary school there were Children talking about porn.
In Jr High and in High School Children all mentioned watching porn.
I recall one Girl saying “Everyone watches porn”
That comment made me really wonder if my mom was right about how everyone does it and I am just abnormal for not wanting it.
That was at the beginning of the school year, last year of Highschool.
Towards the middle of the year the same girl came to class and said.
“I had sex I think.”
She said smiling with her voice shaking.
She went on to say how her boyfriend would have sex with her whenever he wanted.
All of us Girls were confused about it.
We didn’t say anything else about it.
It reminded me of when I was in Jr High and there were a couple of witches that hung around me and I, them because we were the only ones in the prissy school who wore black.
The witch girls often talked about all the guys they had sex with and I even walked in on one of the girls kissing our Science teacher.
& The Girls would tell me they can not wait till I have sex like them and they and their boyfriends would hand me a cigarette and say :
“Here. You need this.”
Which I never smoked, drank , took any pills or “medicines” , no meat , preservatives or anything.
So even though sexual abuse/porn was so present I was very unknowing of it.
I closed my eyes and disassociated whenever anything sexual would pop up or happen.
My middle sister and I grew up together.
Which we were together but not really but yes.
An example of our relationship would be :
My Sister & I family home was SO BEAUTIFUL.
It was not too large, not too small.
Just right.
3 bedroom 2 bath, big garage, large backyard with HUGE TREE covering the backyard.
There was a fence surrounding the house COVERED WITH GRAPES ALL AROUND even climbing up the sides of the house. Every color grape you would ever see. Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Purple, Black, Gold etc. It had the most beautiful Rose bushes in the whole neighborhood.
Two giant palm trees, two asian flower trees with color changing flowers. Pink/White, Purple/blue and the flowers would fly in the wind and all across the lawn. There was also climbing flowers all along the gates with grapes so it was flowers and grapes all along the gate. Then two Christmas trees at the House entrance. The House looked like a Vintage yet modern FairyBook Cottage.
Apparently we had gotten the house at a good price because the previous owners, Two Elderly Couples, had all died together there just recently.
I was the one who chose the house standing under the BIG shady tree.
My Sister and I’s room were connected by a closet.
When we first moved there my Sister and I would hang out in the closet and read together and laugh together. We even got a phone connected by a line for us to call each other and talk.
But as our mom began moving forward with her plans.
Things changed.
Though things are bad because my mom is a pedo who brings other pedos around and I can’t eat or drink anything that comes from her so I starve unless we go out to eat.
We did go out to eat as a norm when our mom and dad were together.
We went to Universal Studios 1 or 2 times during weekdays and spent Friday all day at the movies. Did Knotts on weekends and went all around.
Our Dad LOVED to take us out.
I feel like our mom got into it only because of our Dad.
Just as I feel my Dad was so into porn at the time because of my mom.
He would spend nights in the garage playing video games and watching porn in the garage.
Sometimes growing up the porn would be left on. My mom would blame it on our dad but I am pretty sure it was her. Cause she would leave her music and tv on as well even after they split up.
My Sister and I acted more in fear of it. We would scream and I would feel horrible and weird. I wanted to destroy them and so we would not have to deal with it.
One time I got mad and took the dvd and threw it because it was left in the dvd player.
I think it landed in some corner in my room which my room was SUPER CLEAN but of course as things were going to get worse and I would be home less and less so one time while I was not home which I would be gone walking in the mountains, hanging out with the horses mainly my grandma found the dvd in my room and said it was mine which of course my mom was saying yes it’s mine when it was hers. She was probably mad it was lost and yet happy to blame me a middle school girl so she can feel good about calling me a bitch slut who needs to keep her mouth shut and like it all my life for speaking against the pedophilia.
My mom decided it was time to give the house a “renovation.”
So she hired some of her daycare kids dad to do the renovations.
He was there all day with our mom.
The large tree was gone, the christmas trees, the rose bushes, the flowers and grapes all gone.
The left one stump of all the grapevines and it refused to grow back.
When our dad found our mom with the daycare kids dad he was clearly in shock.
I walked in after but could see the shock on his face.
“I’ll forgive you. But don’t do it again.” Our Father said.
“No.” His wife said.
“Then go do what you’re gonna do and leave me with the Kids cause they don’t need to be around this. When you’re ready to come back I will be here.” – He said.
Things got worse from there.
After that happened no more trips out as a family.
They tried and it only ended in arguments and one kid going with one parent somewhere and the other kid going with the other parent.
If Mom had you she would try to buy you and talk horrible about our Dad saying he stole the family’s money and it was his pedo friends and him that wanted us to be watched by our pedo uncle when she wanted us at out grandmas and he would not let us.
So that’s why I thought maybe our Dad did know about it.
She even said our dad was with one of his friends’ girlfriends behind their back but later on I found out my mom was actually with that friend of our dad who is a pedo.
Then of course the list goes on.
Well as things got worse my Sister was often locked away in her room with her Dog too afraid to come out respectfully.
I just chose to leave and sleep at the park rather than that haunted house.
Yes, Haunted.
The door to our parents room would open and slam shut on its own. The tv would turn to static. Our mom had daycare Children who were elementary age staying overnight. All of them screamed through the night of all that they saw and refused to come back.
Even Girls who went to school with me and stayed over saw the dark spirits in that home.
So then the phone between my Sister and I’s room had to be gone due to fear of what might call through it.
All our things were disappearing anyway.
*READ MISSING HORSES*
The closet had to be covered never to be used again.
Soon everything was gone & we lost the house as our parents split.
I will work on writing out more in depth on all this but since I am trying to get to the NOW and masons/illuminati I will give a summary to catch us up.
Back to the point when I left my ex and left him with everything.
Our Daughter was in head start by the apartment.
I had moved in between my Grandmas and moms because often my grandma’s house is so full there would be nowhere for me to sleep.
I would take our Daughter to School and expect him to pick her up. Then take her and then I pick her up. But he was having problems with it so I decided it must be hard for a Child to go through their parents’ break up so I decided to keep her at my Grandma’s house.
There was a bit of time my ex and I didn’t talk really. I just would pay the rent to the office and maybe leave some money in the mailbox for him and go.
Then I tried talking with him. Offering to meet with him in public places to hang out with all of us for our Daughter. He would just want to be inappropriate and argue as I would say no to sexually inappropriate behavior towards me.
So we stopped talking again for a while.
My classes that semester in college were ruined. I had a chance next semester to fix it.
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